Sigh-Phi

Busted out 40 pages on the new sci-fi adventure. The wife read the first 27 pages and didn’t vomit so that’s good news I guess.

Got a wild hair up my ass and wrote the opening scene to my Sci-Fi mystery during my lunch hour. The scene kept playing over and over in my head so I had to get it down on paper. I don’t know if I am capable or even mature enough to convey the story that I want it to be but I am going to give it a try.

I arrived at a title for the Sci-Fi Adventure finally. Took awhile but I think it’s compelling. Everyone I’ve pitched the idea to seems to be interested.

What the fuck is up with Sc-Fi channel going all retarded and renaming itself SyFy? What, is that easier to text or some shit?

Played Munchkin the other night. Fun game. It’s like Magic meets a college drinking game.

Hot as shit here in Seattle. I finally passed out from heat exhaustion around 2am last night.

I finally picked up the last Potter book. Almost done with it. Mixed emotions right now but will wait and see how it ends.

That is all.

-Jim

Ow my head!

“One must let go in order to be free.”

I think that you can tell and show a person every lesson in life’s handbook. But its not until that person experiences the situation that they truly understand the lesson.

This happened to me last night in an enlightening moment while I was writing. The last few nights I have not been happy with the way the story has been going. To cluttered. Story wasn’t right. I wasn’t having fun with it.

So I slashed and burned about a dozen pages taking with it two of my supporting characters that weren’t working for me. It was like a huge weight had been lifted from my shoulders.

I find myself writing into these dark and dank places a lot. Last night I learned that it’s easy to back up, use the delete key and head in the right direction.

Wish I could do that with life sometimes. Maybe you can…

That is all.

-Jim

"...press one for English"

Fuck you!

-Jim

Multitasking

When my son brushes his teeth we have a little “two minute” hour glass timer that he flips over so he knows how long brush for. I walk into the bathroom last night and he is bent over the sink bucking like a mule and trying to brush at the same time. I ask the obvious question;

“What in the hell are you doing son?”

“I have to go to pee.”

“Put the toothbrush down and go!”

“I can’t, the timer is running.”

Mom came in and rescued us both but tipping the hourglass on its side to stop if from running. Way to go Mom!

Come to think of it I don’t think I’ve ever taken a whiz and brushed my teeth at the same time so I can’t blame the lad.

-Jim

Precious Snowflakes

http://www.wtam.com/cc-common/news/sections/newsarticle.html?feed=122520&article=3881429

Reading this article is a dead on example of what’s fucking wrong with country. Let’s make sure everyone feels good about themselves. Lets not celebrate those who work their asses off and excel at something, oh no. Let’s push him back in line with the rest of the herd. And while were at it lets not give those who haven’t quite reached their potential a yard stick to measure themselves and give them something to strive for. Keep lowering that bar to the weakest link and in a hundred years we’ll all be fucking retarded.

Let’s dumb down the test in our school system so that everyone passes equally. Let’s accept personal finance as a math credits instead of Algebra so that your precious snowflake can graduate with everyone else. Never mind that when they get into the real world, try to get into college or get a real job they are fucked cause they can’t add.

Lets have a graduation ceremony for every fucking grade level up to middle school so we can tell these kids how fucking special they are. That way when they grow up and someone isn’t constantly hugging and telling them how great they are they can slip into depression, get all fucked up on whatever medication the ass hat pharmaceutical companies are peddling that decade and then shoot all their fucking coworkers when their shitty health insurance won’t cover the prescription anymore.

Next time you watch whatever biased, horseshit news channel you watch, and see how the other countries in this world are kicking our ass in education, scientific and technological progress think about how mediocrity is celebrated in this country.

If you have a child, nurture it. Teach them too always strive to better themselves and if they can, those around them. Teach it to do the best it can. And when someone lets them down, teach them that that person did the best they could.

Mediocrity is not ok. Making sure you think like everyone else is not ok. Strive to do better and part of that is finding a skill that you can do better than most others. This is what makes a great society.

And bring back the fucking all-star games you dumb asses.

On a personal note my son called Tacoma, Washington “Tacoland” this morning. See, he’s already making improvements.

Love and shit.

-Jim

Little Boys Day!

Sunday was a good day. I was awakened by my five year old son bearing gifts. He shoved them into my arms and hopped up on the bed barely missing my tender bits (shout out to Kung Fu Panda... awesome, go see it) and clapped excitedly.

His favorite thing to get these days is the “talking” card, the ones where you open them and they sing a song or play a recorded message. He gave me a superman card with a personal message telling me to have a good Fathers Day and enjoy my sandwich, which was apparently to come later.

I also got the fourth season of Scrubs and a baseball game for the Wii along with a lovely card from my wife!

So later on I am giving my son a shower and he says to me, “Dad, when is little boys day?” “Little boys day?” I replied. “Yeah Dad, I want what you got today, when is my day to get presents”.

It was a good day.

Saturday, as mentioned above, the family went to a 10 am showing of Kung Fu Panda. First of all 10 am is a great time to take the kids to a movie. It’s like a kindergarten in the theatre and its fun to hear the children laughing above the movie sound and the children crying, complaining, eating popcorn and what not. It was a good time and we all enjoyed the movie. I am a huge Jack Black fan and will definitely add his cover of “Kung Fu Fighting” to my iPod when I can.

Happy belated Fathers day to everyone out there in the scribosphere!

Note: I tried to air brush out the "Mariners are #1" foam finger and replace it with a fork cause they are seriously done for the year but I couldn't get it to look right. I apologize for the inconvenience.

-Jim

Oiy!

Been awhile…

I am bored and cranky at work. I can do only so much in Crystal Reports before my grape shuts down so I thought I would hop on and post. Problem is I really don’t have anything important to say.

Mariners are sucking horribly this year. I am regretting the purchase of a six game package back when they thought they were going to kick some ass. I guess we should just be happy to pay $70+ for the chance to buy garlic fries and shishkaberry’s.

My sister-in-law has a white cat named “cracker”. When my wife told me this I almost died laughing. I spent the rest of that day walking around the house doing my best Chris Rock impression of “cracka-ass-cracker”.

I am working on a new story while I manifest the energy to finish Red Vector. Keeping it under wraps for now although I will say it’s inspired by events in or around Mt. St. Helens. Should be fun!

I’ve been playing a bit of Age of Conan online. There’s a lot of blood and gore and even a naked booby or two. The game has a lot of work that needs to be done but the world is beautiful and if FunCom stays the course it will be a great game.

-Jim

Can anyone recommend a good home brewing kit?

Throw it to first!

On Sunday my son had a T-Ball game down at the local high school. They played on the softball field which had the really nice artificial turf field, the kind they put in Qwest field. It was raining a bit so it was nice to be there and not some quagmire.

If you ever get a chance to take in a T-Ball game with four to six year old boys and girls hanging out, having fun, playing with their gloves and occasionally paying attention long enough to actually field the ball I would recommend it. Watching all the young minds trying to decipher the game with 20 parents and coaches screaming at them to throw here or run there is quite comical.

We are constantly telling the kids that if you get the ball throw it to first base to get the out. At one point the ball was hit right to the boy playing first base and he charged it, fielded it cleanly turned and through the ball to first base. I mean AT the first base, bouncing the ball off it. The kid did exactly what we asked, good boy!

My wife’s computer is finally on its last legs. So I did what every good husband should. I bought myself a new one and gave her mine…

It shipped today and I should have it assembled and running by the weekend. This is my first new computer in about three years so I am really excited.

Writing is going well. The story is moving forward and even though I am not going back to rewrite my previous pages as I need to keep pressing forward, I already have several notes for myself for changes. I am enjoying the process, much more fun this time around instead of feeling like a chore.

Seahawks had an interesting draft. The experts seem to be a bit down on our selections but I like the fact that the Seahawks look for quality PEOPLE, not quality players.

-Jim

Get off your ass and play video games!

I cranked out about 10 pages of “Red Vector” in and around a busy week that included my son’s fifth birthday.

We got him a Wii, which was a bit hard to find as they are flying off the shelves. Thanks to a friend of mine we scored one and I couldn’t be happier.

The console is just awesome. The night he got it we played baseball, tennis and bowling together. We stood in the middle of the living room swinging wildly with the remotes in our hands. We both were winded and he was sweating by the time we quit. I truly believe this is the future of gaming. Actually having to get off our ass and play the game. I love it.

I got him Mario Galaxy and even at five years old he is able to play it and do very well. It’s also teaching him letters and numbers and to a small degree to read. I have to read him the text but he is starting to recognize some words which is really cool.

So I have to give the Wii huge thumbs up in terms of game play and family fun. Get one if you can, you won’t be disappointed.

-Jim

Sweat Circles

I took my family to the mall this weekend. Inevitably at some point my son will get tired and he will want to ride on Daddy’s shoulder. It’s one of the hallmarks of being a Dad to carry your son or daughter on your shoulders. To bear their weight, to watch the people passing you look up and smile at them and have them hold on to your face and in my case tug, rub and scratch my goatee until it’s painfully raw.

My son is tipping the scales at a healthy 47lbs these days so it’s a work out. When we got back to the car and got buckled in I was sweaty and a bit winded. He jumps in the back and buckles himself into his booster seat and declares, “Whew… all that walking really made me tired. I think I need a rest”.

I watched a Blades of Glory this weekend and followed along with my trustee Blake Snyder beat sheet. In my opinion an interesting way to study a film and still be able to enjoy it. The filmed followed the structure really closely. Although I liked the movie I thought some of the story points were weak and that the creative team could have done a better job with callbacks and tying up loose ends.

I would like to see Will Farrell in some more movies like Stranger than Fiction. I enjoyed that story and I think Will is a good actor. His comedy is getting a bit tired. Anchorman remains my favorite.

FHoD:
“Man jailed after punching a police horse in the ass.” I never have to brainstorm for story ideas. I just read www.fark.com.

-Jim

Pulling Teeth

Stingrays have apparently declared jihad on the human race. First Steve Irwin gets one in the chest now they are leaping into boats and killing soccer moms. Stay tuned for "Open Water 2: Stingray". The plot will of course blame global warming.

The Euro is crushing the American dollar. Exchange rate is something like $1.57 per. I can’t wait for the “Amero” (google that shit).

I love the interweb and all its tubes and highways. I truly think that the only way we are going to survive as a society is if people educate themselves. Not only within your own comfort zone and belief system but go outside and see what the other folks are thinking and talking about. Fanaticism on any level about anything is unhealthy.

Just ask my wife about me and my Seahawks….

Fark Headline of the Day:
McCartney fans say his latest album contains hidden jibes at Heather Mills, because "Mister Bellamy" is an anagram of "Mills Betray Me." In other news, Sir Paul McCartney is an anagram of "Crispy Anal Rectum"

-Jim

Random Synchronicity

If you’re caged in a cubicle all day like myself and enjoy your music head over to www.pandora.com. It’s a streaming site that allows you to set up “stations” and tweak the content based on songs or artists. I think I discovered it from Emily over at www.whiteboardmarkers.com so credit goes to her. I have a techno-industrial channel and an alternative rock channel that I switch back and forth between. Nothing like crankin out code to KMFDM! Anyways check it out.

I’m bored so I thought I would toss out some odd shit about me…

I think the moon landing was a hoax. For those of you who are still here it’s just one of those fun conspiracy theories that I indulge. I would go into an explanation of why but I will leave that for another post. In the mean time raise your hand if you can tell me why the flag in the above picture is waving, on the moon, with no atmosphere, and no wind?

I think we are the remnants of a much more advanced civilization. I think we achieved as a society then wiped ourselves out. We are in the process of rebuilding. Lets hope we don’t fuck up this time.

I hate watermelon. Got sick on it as a kid not I can’t stand the smell.

I think oil is abiotic and not a fossil fuel. I think we purchase oil from OPEC as a concession for keeping Israel safe and on the map.

I lived a large portion of my teenage life overseas.

I finished high school in a small logging town in Oregon. Watch “Ax Men” on the History channel if you get the chance. Those boys are some grizzled sons of bitches let me tell you. That and Deadliest Catch on Discovery are the only “reality” shows I watch.

I don’t believe, I think.

-Jim

Fruit Salad... yummy yummy

Taking my son to see The Wiggles today. He is jacked up about it, running around and bouncing off the walls. For those of you that don’t know who The Wiggles are its four Australians singing about fruit salad while a guy dressed up as a pirate wielding a sword made of feathers chases a female dinsoaur around the stage while a large dog and octopus frolic in the background. It's my goal in life to pitch that movie some day. I love my son, what can I say?

Took a beating on my March Madness bracket yesterday. I am all about the underdog and I think only one lower seed won yesterday. Oh well… GO WASHINGTON ST. COUGARS!

Barry Bonds has not signed with a team yet. The league is investigating collusion charges because of it. Come on. The guy is a douche nozzle and any team that signs that bloated prick will be hated for a decade. I predict the newest curse in baseball will be the Bonds curse. Anyone who signs that ass hat will spend the next century in the cellar. I hear the Mariners are looking for a bench weight…

Looking more and more like the “Hawks are gonna boot Alexander to the curb. To bad, I liked the guy, wish he ran harder. Should have put and APB out on his nuts a few years ago, maybe he would still be running like he had a pair.

Couple more paragraphs of writing done yesterday. I’ve “shot” my heroes up a tree and threw a massive asteroid at them… trying to figure out how to get them down now. Having fun.

The Everett Silvertips face off against the Spokane Chiefs tonight in the first round of the WHL Playoffs. GO TIPS!

No stock market activity today, they all get Good Friday off. WTF is that about? Answer coming tomorrow.

Fark Headline of the Day (from here on out known as FHD)
“Turkey bombs Kurds, claims they're getting in the whey”

Off like a dirty shirt

-Jim

Hump day + 1

In an effort to post more often I will attempt to write something, anything, every day.

Working on a space story that my brother Haans and I have been tossing back and forth, high concept wise think Con-Air in space. Wouldn't it be a bitch if first contact with an alien intelligence was a prison ship?

March madness starts today. Go Portland State!

Grats to my Hustlin' Owls of the Oregon Institute of Technology (class of 2001) for capturing the NAIA Div II National Championship. GO HOOTERS!

Doing lots of math these days at work. Writing a graphing engine and had to bust out the trigonometry to figure out some shit. When was the last time you used SOH-CAH-TOA in your daily life? I collapsed shortly after the build.

Fark Headline of the Day
“Man facing 40 years in prison after his wife turned off his television and he used his gun as universal remote” The strange part is it isn’t even football season yet…

This is me, tonsil free, signing off...

-Jim

A moment of deafening roar

Some day in the future I will be watching football with my son and Brett Farve will pop on the screen. When that moment happens I will tell my son that Brett Fah-verrr-ruh was one of the grittiest, hard working, toughest, highlight-reel-waiting-to-happen quarterbacks I've ever had the pleasure of watching.

That 4th down play in the playoffs this year against the 'Hawks where he underhanded the ball to the reciever as he was stumbling was heartbreaking but when I see it now I just shake my head and file it under "Vintage Farve". Thanks for playing Brett. I will miss you...

On a side note did anyone in Greenbay go to work today? How bad are they gonna suck next year?

Josh Brown can eat my ass. That's all I have to say about that. If the 'Hawks don't make some moves soon in Free Agency I suspect this will be the lame year heading into a rebuilding cycle. It was fun while it lasted but getting some young new stars from the draft will be exciting.

Baseball is in full spring training. Mariners are looking good. Baring any Mariner Moose incidents our staff should be pretty strong. Should be a good year. Got my six game package for me and my family. Out of sheer luck we have tickets for both Mother's and Father's day. Awesome!

Silvertips are rockin. Got tickets to their last home game. Playoffs start in a month or so. GO TIPS!

I love the Seattle area. So much sports... and culture. But really a lot of sports.

I purchased a mountain bike last week. Looking to get in shape. Went on a ride with the family and had a blast. They forgot to mention that the seats on the bikes these days are fairly hard, so as you can imagine I am sore as shit. Feels like I got fucked by a Rhino who went horns deep. I love it though. Riding a bike is so much fun, I am puzzled as to why I ever stopped.

Writing is slow. I have a lot of ideas but nothing that's jumping out at me as a great story. I am tinkering with a few lines so we will see if something gains momentum.

That's it.

-Jim

[Witty Title]

What a two weeks since my lost post….

I am on day three of my new job. So much to learn my head feels like mush. The people are nice and the projects are exciting. I’ve cut my one-way commute from 90 minutes down to 10 minutes. I have to time to hit the Y and work out. I am happy.

The writers strike seems to be over which is awesome. Here’s to everyone getting back to work and coming up with some great shows! Cheers!

Looks like Blu-Ray has come out on top over HD-DVD to win that war. I am so glad I waited until they sorted that shit out before buying any new DVD’s or a player. Somewhere in a secluded pawn shop a Betamax silently weeps…

I caught the last few episodes of Psych on TBS. That show is funny as hell. The season finale had me laughing out loud. I tried to watch Monk but that show is tired and I am still pissed at them for dropping the first blonde assistant. I don’t care for the new chick at all.

My four your old son is making his way through a PacMan adventure game on the original X-Box. When he gets stuck he comes and grabs me for help. Unfortunately I suck at arcade games. Here I am a grown man screaming at the TV cause I can’t make this double back flip jump twist or some shit and my son is calmly patting my on the arm saying “It’s ok daddy. Just try, try again”.

Aside from the fact that Lindsay has some nice Lohan’s I am not impressed with her comparing herself to Marilyn. To my knowledge Lindsay hasn’t porked a president or even been to the white house for that matter. Between her busy schedule of rehab and driving while under the influence I guess kudos to her for finding the time for a photo shoot.

When thing settle down with the new schedule I will work in a writing schedule. I am still holding myself to getting at least a first draft done by June. With all the major worries and issues solved for now I think I can devote some brain cycles.

Until next time…

-Jim

Thank god Eli is single...

Congratulations to the New York “Football” Giants! What a great game. The Giants took it right to the Patriots and smashed them in the mouth. Sure looked like an aging Patriot linebacking core lost a step or two in the fourth quarter…

Does anyone in this country like that fucker Belichick? I was SHOCKED to find out has a kid. Dear god my heart goes out to him. I think the Patriots and that ass hat of a coach need to be fined for not being out on the field for the final play. Hell I am not even sure they had 11 men on defense for the final kneel down.

Belichick completely disrespected the referee that was trying to tell him there was another play then he disrespected Coughlin and the Giants by leaving the field early. The guy is a prick and needs to be fined a seasons paycheck for his bullshit.

His players and organization must be so proud of him and his antics. A stain on an what I felt was one of the best Superbowls I’ve ever watched.

**News Flash**

New England has an APB out for this woman....

Do not approach her if you play professional sports. She is armed and dangerous.

Pitchers and Catchers report this month… Go Mariners!

Where the hell have I been? Well let’s see.

I start a new job on the 18th at a small software company about 15 minutes from the house. No more hour long bus commutes to downtown Seattle. No more corporate bullshit to deal with, just creating great software for customers who will use it. My kind of gig.

Writing has been sparse lately due to lots of distractions that I really can’t use as an excuse but will anyway. Things are looking up so I find myself wandering back to my stories and they take life again.

Talk of the writers strike nearing and end is good. TV is sucking horribly these days. I hope they finish out the Scrubs final season.

I will holler at you all later.

-Jim

Happy New Year and shit

My ‘Hawks are done. Blasted in the “..Frozen tundra of Lambeau field”. Congrats on a good run guys. I am rooting for Brett to go all the way. I think the Packers have a good shot and beating the Pats.

Holidays were good. I got very little writing done. I’ve been in a funk at work so my attitude and demeanor haven’t been the best. I find it hard to creating conflict on paper when I have real life problems to hammer out. I should probably figure out a way to marry those two, might come up with a half way decent story.

For awhile there I was consuming any and all information about the strike I could. It was kind of exhilarating, a war at home sort of thing. Now it just pisses me off. I hope everyone gets their shit together and starts treating each other with what used to be called respect. They keep fucking around and you’re going to see a whole generation playing video games and interacting online instead of watching TV and Movies.

My goals for this year are to get in shape, lose some weight and get at least one script done and have two or three more in various stages of development.

Here’s to all my reader(s) and wishing you a happy new year.

-Jim

364 Days shopping days left!

Now that I’ve got your attention…

I’m not a big fan of Christmas (above picture not withstanding). My experiences growing up weren’t all that good. I’m not sure it would have mattered if it weren’t for the society surrounding you that places such a high priority on your Christmas haul. I dreaded going back to school after Christmas break. The obligatory “What I got for Christmas” essay was painful and to this day I wonder if the teachers ever realized. Sometimes I made stuff up, other times I just didn’t do the assignment. God blesses everyone my ass…

My wife is the polar opposite of me when it comes to Christmas. Her family goes ape shit with presents and shopping and holiday cheer and all that bullshit. I’ve done my best to stay cold but over the years my lovely wife has warmed me up. Then my son arrived.

The first few years he just rolled around and ripped paper. This year he was four and a half and it was a blast. We took him to see Santa and he actually sat on his lap this time and gave him his list. He watched Christmas movies all month. On Christmas Eve he sprinkled oatmeal on the lawn for the Reindeer. We made a ginger bread house that barely stood up. He ran around with a constant grin for days.

Christmas morning was awesome. Santa brought him all the things he asked for but one which, disturbingly, he remembered and asked Mom if Santa forgot the skateboard he wanted. Mom told him Santa probably thought the scooter was good enough for now. She's on her game when it comes to all things Santa.

As a side note-- how fun is it to remove toys from their packaging these days? Either they are vacuumed sealed like they are being shipped in cyro-statis to fucking Mars or their tied down with steel twisty like suspected Al Qaeda. For the love of time and sore fingers can we please back off the security measures? My son was continually hoping up in down in front of me dying to play with his new toy and I couldn't find the hidden tie down holding the fricken toy hostage. The pressure was amazing.

Anyway, we stayed in our jammies all afternoon, played with his new toys, and watched “A Christmas Story” two and a half times over the course of the day (Best Christmas Movie EVER). He told us over and over how much he loved his new things, he was such a good boy. My wife made sure everything was perfect for us.

It was the best Christmas I’ve ever had.

Oh and the Seahawks won. GO ‘HAWKS!!!

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year… and shit.

-Jim