The Horror

I am sitting at light yesterday when through my side view mirror a catch a glimpse of a fairly attractive blond sitting in a massive gray Ford 150. I can see her designer nails on the steering wheel from two cars down, we’re talking one of those high maintenance chicks.

I glance up to check the light and back over to the mirror to see, to my amusement, the lady has her $60 nail knuckle deep in her nose. Now I know objects in the mirror may appear closer than they are, but this bitch was strip mining.

Hey, who am I to judge right? So I shrug it off and laugh about it until I look back and the unthinkable happens. If I’m lying I’m dying and you can iron the wrinkles out of my nut sack, this chick ATE THE BOOGERS.

Like she was spooning Rocky Road out of her snot locker she was digging that shit out and going right to the mouth with it. Congratulations to whoever she’s banging, I doubt she brushes or flosses after the drive at five snacks.

A woman down in California needed her appendix removed but didn’t want the scares. So some doctors got together and decided to remove it, through her vagina. How awesome is that? I think more surgeries should be done through random orifices. Laser eye surgery through the ass, tummy tuck through my pee whole. Come on guys lets get crazy here.

Brainstorming a few more story points on my space adventure script, I’ve almost completed the beat sheet. The title sucks but like most of my ideas I will have an epiphany at some point and it will work.

My scribosphere mate Matt has taken down his blog shingle. I wish him the best.

-Jim