Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Pulling Teeth

Stingrays have apparently declared jihad on the human race. First Steve Irwin gets one in the chest now they are leaping into boats and killing soccer moms. Stay tuned for "Open Water 2: Stingray". The plot will of course blame global warming.

The Euro is crushing the American dollar. Exchange rate is something like $1.57 per. I can’t wait for the “Amero” (google that shit).

I love the interweb and all its tubes and highways. I truly think that the only way we are going to survive as a society is if people educate themselves. Not only within your own comfort zone and belief system but go outside and see what the other folks are thinking and talking about. Fanaticism on any level about anything is unhealthy.

Just ask my wife about me and my Seahawks….

Fark Headline of the Day:
McCartney fans say his latest album contains hidden jibes at Heather Mills, because "Mister Bellamy" is an anagram of "Mills Betray Me." In other news, Sir Paul McCartney is an anagram of "Crispy Anal Rectum"


Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Random Synchronicity

If you’re caged in a cubicle all day like myself and enjoy your music head over to It’s a streaming site that allows you to set up “stations” and tweak the content based on songs or artists. I think I discovered it from Emily over at so credit goes to her. I have a techno-industrial channel and an alternative rock channel that I switch back and forth between. Nothing like crankin out code to KMFDM! Anyways check it out.

I’m bored so I thought I would toss out some odd shit about me…

I think the moon landing was a hoax. For those of you who are still here it’s just one of those fun conspiracy theories that I indulge. I would go into an explanation of why but I will leave that for another post. In the mean time raise your hand if you can tell me why the flag in the above picture is waving, on the moon, with no atmosphere, and no wind?

I think we are the remnants of a much more advanced civilization. I think we achieved as a society then wiped ourselves out. We are in the process of rebuilding. Lets hope we don’t fuck up this time.

I hate watermelon. Got sick on it as a kid not I can’t stand the smell.

I think oil is abiotic and not a fossil fuel. I think we purchase oil from OPEC as a concession for keeping Israel safe and on the map.

I lived a large portion of my teenage life overseas.

I finished high school in a small logging town in Oregon. Watch “Ax Men” on the History channel if you get the chance. Those boys are some grizzled sons of bitches let me tell you. That and Deadliest Catch on Discovery are the only “reality” shows I watch.

I don’t believe, I think.


Friday, March 21, 2008

Fruit Salad... yummy yummy

Taking my son to see The Wiggles today. He is jacked up about it, running around and bouncing off the walls. For those of you that don’t know who The Wiggles are its four Australians singing about fruit salad while a guy dressed up as a pirate wielding a sword made of feathers chases a female dinsoaur around the stage while a large dog and octopus frolic in the background. It's my goal in life to pitch that movie some day. I love my son, what can I say?

Took a beating on my March Madness bracket yesterday. I am all about the underdog and I think only one lower seed won yesterday. Oh well… GO WASHINGTON ST. COUGARS!

Barry Bonds has not signed with a team yet. The league is investigating collusion charges because of it. Come on. The guy is a douche nozzle and any team that signs that bloated prick will be hated for a decade. I predict the newest curse in baseball will be the Bonds curse. Anyone who signs that ass hat will spend the next century in the cellar. I hear the Mariners are looking for a bench weight…

Looking more and more like the “Hawks are gonna boot Alexander to the curb. To bad, I liked the guy, wish he ran harder. Should have put and APB out on his nuts a few years ago, maybe he would still be running like he had a pair.

Couple more paragraphs of writing done yesterday. I’ve “shot” my heroes up a tree and threw a massive asteroid at them… trying to figure out how to get them down now. Having fun.

The Everett Silvertips face off against the Spokane Chiefs tonight in the first round of the WHL Playoffs. GO TIPS!

No stock market activity today, they all get Good Friday off. WTF is that about? Answer coming tomorrow.

Fark Headline of the Day (from here on out known as FHD)
“Turkey bombs Kurds, claims they're getting in the whey”

Off like a dirty shirt


Thursday, March 20, 2008

Hump day + 1

In an effort to post more often I will attempt to write something, anything, every day.

Working on a space story that my brother Haans and I have been tossing back and forth, high concept wise think Con-Air in space. Wouldn't it be a bitch if first contact with an alien intelligence was a prison ship?

March madness starts today. Go Portland State!

Grats to my Hustlin' Owls of the Oregon Institute of Technology (class of 2001) for capturing the NAIA Div II National Championship. GO HOOTERS!

Doing lots of math these days at work. Writing a graphing engine and had to bust out the trigonometry to figure out some shit. When was the last time you used SOH-CAH-TOA in your daily life? I collapsed shortly after the build.

Fark Headline of the Day
“Man facing 40 years in prison after his wife turned off his television and he used his gun as universal remote” The strange part is it isn’t even football season yet…

This is me, tonsil free, signing off...


Wednesday, March 5, 2008

A legend in my mind

Yesterday Gary Gygax died in his home in Lake Geneva, Wisconsin. Any correlation between this and Brett Farve retiring has yet to be determined…

In all seriousness, for those of you nubs not in the know, he was the creator of Dungeons & Dragons.
As I read the articles about his death I started thinking about my early experiences of D&D and what an awesome time it was. Freshman year in high school I discovered this wonderful game. Using the mighty number two pencil and any paper (never use a pen, almost sacrilegious) I could get my hands on my friends and I created avatars, monsters, encounters, traps, puzzles, drama, conflict, resolution, reward, and death. No computers, TV’s, joysticks, or consoles needed, we used our minds and created worlds.

I can’t remember all of the D&D clones I’ve played over my life time. Some of the more memorable ones were Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles RPG (I know that sounds corny but their pen and paper game rocked the house), ShadowRun (A sci-fi / fantasy post-apocalyptic world set on the west coast), Marvel Superheroes, and Twilight 2000 (A WWIII infantry RPG).

My friend Jason and I played TMNT constantly for almost a year. Using the “Road Hogs”, “After the Bomb” and “Mutants Down Under” source books we reeked havoc with our mutated animal heroes, hands down my favorite RPG game. During that time the Nightmare on Elm Street movies were big and together we created an entire system and rule set for a dream warrior type game. Each hero had a specific nightmare type and using a unique power set had to battle his nightmares to stay alive. We spent hours building and playing this game. To this day my father mentions how impressed he was at the amount of material and the complexity of rules we created.

A low point was when my parents came and tried to forbid me from playing these games. Apparently the church I belonged to at the time (I’ve since become a free thinker and actually make decisions based on what I think) decided to tell its followers that D&D and games of this ilk were satanic! Bullshit and completely unfounded. God forbid the little sheep begin to think for themselves and use our imaginations. Another scathing post for another time.

Since then I’ve followed the genre as it has grown and morphed into what we have today. Video games (World of Warcraft), movies (most of them suck but I am working on that) and the occasional table top game (Warhammer 40k). I play a lot of these games and to my wife’s horror my son has also caught the gaming bug a bit. I am so proud… tears of joy I tell you.

I think for me it opened my mind into what can be accomplished, literally, out of thin air. All of my early writings were rooted in my gaming experience. It taught me how to imagine. It taught me how to create an avatar on paper and actually fear for its life as I navigated it through perilous adventures. Laugh; call me a geek or a nerd if you will. But I challenge anyone that loves a good movie or book to tell me that that is not what deep down they are looking for when they experience a story.

So I wanted to give Mr. Gygax his proper due. Without ever having met the man, he had a monumental effect on my life. Thank you sir.


Tuesday, March 4, 2008

A moment of deafening roar

Some day in the future I will be watching football with my son and Brett Farve will pop on the screen. When that moment happens I will tell my son that Brett Fah-verrr-ruh was one of the grittiest, hard working, toughest, highlight-reel-waiting-to-happen quarterbacks I've ever had the pleasure of watching.

That 4th down play in the playoffs this year against the 'Hawks where he underhanded the ball to the reciever as he was stumbling was heartbreaking but when I see it now I just shake my head and file it under "Vintage Farve". Thanks for playing Brett. I will miss you...

On a side note did anyone in Greenbay go to work today? How bad are they gonna suck next year?

Josh Brown can eat my ass. That's all I have to say about that. If the 'Hawks don't make some moves soon in Free Agency I suspect this will be the lame year heading into a rebuilding cycle. It was fun while it lasted but getting some young new stars from the draft will be exciting.

Baseball is in full spring training. Mariners are looking good. Baring any Mariner Moose incidents our staff should be pretty strong. Should be a good year. Got my six game package for me and my family. Out of sheer luck we have tickets for both Mother's and Father's day. Awesome!

Silvertips are rockin. Got tickets to their last home game. Playoffs start in a month or so. GO TIPS!

I love the Seattle area. So much sports... and culture. But really a lot of sports.

I purchased a mountain bike last week. Looking to get in shape. Went on a ride with the family and had a blast. They forgot to mention that the seats on the bikes these days are fairly hard, so as you can imagine I am sore as shit. Feels like I got fucked by a Rhino who went horns deep. I love it though. Riding a bike is so much fun, I am puzzled as to why I ever stopped.

Writing is slow. I have a lot of ideas but nothing that's jumping out at me as a great story. I am tinkering with a few lines so we will see if something gains momentum.

That's it.